Doth thou call me a stranger? (Hamlet - Nicknames)

I know what you're all thinking: Claire, what wonderful, magical, dramatic Shakespeare wonder will you analyze first?

Well, my fellow confused Shakespeare readers, we're going to start with my favorite. It's a tale of the mind, the heart, and the murder. It's the story of a Prince of Denmark, so crazy that he may not actually be crazy. That's right, everyone...

IT'S HAMLET.

(I saw Benedict Cumberbatch's version on Hamlet when it came to Cinemarks, and I was irrevocably changed. Look at his hopeful little face.)

Anyway, so Hamlet.

I don't intend to describe the plot here. This post is meant for something simpler. See, when I read Shakespeare, I can't keep any of the two million characters straight--particularly when they have extremely similar names. 

So, I give them nicknames. This is a guide to the nicknames of Hamlet, meant to make your trip to my blog a little easier to understand.

Some of these characters are important, some of them not, but they all get nicknames anyway (except for Hamlet and Horatio, because for some reason he is just Horatio).

The Ghost/Old Hamlet - Dead King Hamlet

Hamlet - Ham, Hamlet, the Hamster

Gertrude - Queen Mother, Gertrude, Lady G

Claudius - Murder Bro, Scheming Uncle, Uncle C

Ophelia - Lady O

Laertes - L'art

Polonius - Polo shirt, Dead Dad #2

Reynaldo - Polo Servant

Horatio - Horatio

Rosencrantz - Buffoon #1

Guildenstern - Buffoon #2

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern - The Buffoon Duo

Francisco - Guard #1

Bernardo - Guard #2

Marcellus - Guard #3

Fortinbras - Whiny Prince Fortinbras (WPF)

King of Norway - Norwegian King

That group of minstrels and actors that comes to the castle - Elizabethan Cirque

Everyone else - Lords, ladies, servants, guards, gravediggers, etc.

And there you go.